Navigating exams as a parent can feel like a marathon, but instead of water breaks, it’s a chaotic mix of forgotten homework, late-night cramming, and coffee on tap. In South Africa, we take exams seriously, but the humor of parenting in the middle of it all? That’s what keeps us going.
1. The Night Before: “Are You Ready?”
Ah, the classic question, “Have you studied?” only to be met with the universal shrug of doom. As parents, we’ve mastered the art of pretending calm, while inside, we’re imagining our child’s school report with results that would make their ancestors weep.
2. Study Plans: Dream or Reality?
You printed out a study schedule, colour-coded for each subject, didn’t you? Well, it now lives in the same place as that missing sock—somewhere, but not in this dimension. As a parent, you might wonder, “If my child can remember the lyrics to every amapiano song, why not the periodic table?”
3. Snack Attack: Brain Food or Bribery?
If anyone asks, you’ll say the junk food is “brain fuel,” but we all know it’s actually bribery. “One more page and you can have a Chappies!” You’ll be whispering encouragement like, “Remember to read the question properly” while simultaneously questioning why they can’t just recall anything from the past term.
4. Exam Morning: The Calm Before the Storm
You’ll wake your child for the fifth time, using the same loving threat: “If you don’t get up now, you’ll write your exam in your pyjamas.” Coffee for you, rooibos for them, and off they go with a bag heavier than their future prospects. As they head off, you wonder, “Is this the exam where they finally learn that procrastination isn’t a strategy?”
5. Post-Exam Therapy (for Parents)
When your child emerges from the exam hall, it’s not about how they did; it’s about how you survived. Their answer to, “How was it?” will range from “Meh” to “I’ll definitely pass,” while you’ll be re-evaluating every life choice that led to this moment. Treat yourself to something indulgent—you earned it.
6. Results Day: Brace Yourself
If you thought parenting through exams was tough, results day will test your nerves even more. Whether the results scream “future Nobel Prize winner” or “time for extra lessons,” As parents you know there’s always another term, another exam, and more cups of tea to brew. In the end, exams are just a moment in time. They pass, just like the dishes you left in the sink this morning. Hold on to your sense of humor—it’s the only thing that doesn’t need to be marked at the end of the day
